Wednesday, July 1, 2009

The Quarter-Squat Phenomenon

In my last post I mentioned Kevin Quarter-Squat so I thought I would post a piece written by my roommate Danny Amon regarding this same topic. Danny has appeared on the blog before which you can check out here if you missed it.

Squat Parallel, or Else...

If you spend a significant amount of time at the gym, then there is a good chance you've seen some nancy doing what can at best be described as a quarter-squat; at worst, it can be described as a complete waste of everyone's time and a great annoyance to large, good-looking meatheads like myself. In fact, you most likely ARE one of the nancies that pretends to squat, when in reality you only disgrace and bastardize the exercise while simultaneously providing evidence that you are, in fact, a douchebag. If I were to take it another step further, I would most likely discover your bench lacking a full range of motion, but that's a different argument for a different day. So, your douchebaggery in mind, I'd like to introduce you to a very alien concept: Squatting parallel. In this sense, parallel references the position of the thigh with respect to the ground. In order to properly execute a squat - and indeed to actually target the legs, which if I'm not mistaken is the purpose of the squat - you must AT LEAST achieve a parallel position whereby your thighs are running along the same plane as the ground. If you are too dense to understand the concept as described, let me put it another way: A legitimate squat requires that the thigh and shin achieve a 90 degree angle. If upon reading this you are unsure of your squat, rest assured that it sucks and is laughable to anyone who has ever felt the pain of heavy squats for depth. If you refuse to change your ways, you can bet that the girl I saw front-squatting 125 could form tackle you if she so desired. And for the record, she could also out-squat you if you ever manned-up and tried to squat parallel. So what about injuries, you say? Powerlifter Dave Tate has a laundry list of them, including 4 herniated discs in his spine, and still manages to squat over 900 pounds. Do you know what that makes him? You guessed it, a man. Partial squats do nothing to grow the legs, so if you ever want to pull your head out of your ass long enough to do a real squat and see what men (and some very enlightened women) feel like, squat parallel. Then maybe we can talk about touching your chest when you bench.

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